After the wait staff came back and took away the remnants of dinner, Chad slipped back into the bathroom to shave and dress. As he pulled up his black jeans and buttoned the fly he looked in the mirror and hoped Tori didn’t stop loving him when she found out who he really was and what he really wanted. Five years ago, it wasn’t prudence that kept Chad from taking Tori with every bit of force she wanted, needed. It was Chad’s own restraint. He wanted to give her all she desired and more, but if he was being honest, he’d have to admit that he was scared to death of what lurked beneath his surface. From the minute he’d stood in front of Tori for the first time, Chad wanted to know what it would be like to have her bend to his will under his hand. The crazed desire that heated him from the inside out increased exponentially the night he held Tori’s hand and stood watching the woman Rio took as his own surrender to his merciful torture.
Chad watched as Tori sucked an ice cube from her now gone Royal Flush, holding it between her teeth, teasing him without realization of what she was doing. Thoughts of what he’d like to do with that ice cube flitted across his mind, through his body and landed straight in his dick. He’d been reading about the lifestyle for several weeks now, toying with the idea of giving in and asking Rio for instruction on how to go about staking Tori as his own. The woman drove him completely mad, and his heart sank every time he watched her week after blessed week allow some other Dom, usually Rio, tether her to himself and walk away. If she was trying to kill him emotionally she was succeeding. Chad knew that if he couldn’t have her, he’d died a tormented man.
He ordered another drink, needing to numb the blatant desire to drag her off and spank her senseless. Who was he kidding? He’d never laid a hand on another living thing. The one thing that Tori needed to say yes. To leave with him and not come back here and Chad could not bring himself to do it. Knowing he couldn’t relent to his instincts didn’t stop the fantasy from haunting him however. More than once in the last several days Chad had found himself in a hot steamy shower with his cock lathered up imagining Tori was there with him. On her knees in front of him with his thick cock stretching her perfect rosy red lips taut. With both hands free he could delve his fingers into her sunshine colored hair, winding it around his hands, pulling while driving his cock down her throat…
“You gonna sit there all night?” Tori dragged Chad back to reality, but not before his cock swelled, straining against his fly until it ached.
Rio had managed to crush Tori somehow by finally claiming a permanent mate, although Tori admitted to Chad she didn’t love Rio. If that were true what difference did it make who Rio took as a sub? With her small, delicate hand tucked inside his, Chad led Tori to the common area where Rio would demand his new woman submit to him publicly. Chad would like nothing more than to take a number for that ride and make Tori understand who was boss.
Together they stood back behind the crowd of leather clad spectators. Chad’s heart raced as Rio’s known sharing partner let go of the first lash to the woman that Rio had buckled wrists and ankles to a St. Andrew’s cross. The strength that Rio fed her through his soul as his partner continued to take her to task was visible and fluid. Rio’s eyes never wandered and each time the woman fell forward, Rio caught her, told her how he admired her and how wonderful she was doing, and pushed her back up. Chad wanted to be that for Tori. He wanted that and more. When Chad’s breathing was reduced to gasps and his groin strained, stretching, reaching for something, Chad knew he wanted this so badly he could never allow himself to put Tori beneath his hands. He knew she was out of his grasp unless he could get her to see things his way because he knew he could never harness the drive within him that stalked like a caged animal seeking to be set free. As Chad’s blood continued to singe the fibers of his very being, Tori tried to pull free of his possession.
Before she could manage to escape, Chad pinned her to the wall, facing away from him. He knew without a doubt she was aware of just what watching had done to him. His hard-on drove into Tori’s back as he pressed his body into hers, holding her captive against the cold dark marble. Running his tongue along her throat and bare shoulder, he whispered roughly in her ear.
“Do you have any idea just how damn bad I want you, Tori?” The words barely came out of Chad’s closing throat. With one hand clasping her wrists tightly on the wall above her head to hold her in place, he ran his other hand up her thigh and under her short black skirt. His fingers dug beneath the tiny triangle of material he discovered lay between his touch and her clit and found their mark with ease. “Let me in, Tori.”
Tori writhed under Chad’s hold on her and whimpered. Before he could process what was happening she told him that unless he took her in the manner in which she needed him to, he could quit trying to take her home with him. He knew that would never happen. He could never allow it to happen. As his lungs constricted and forced out the last of his air, Chad pulled away from Tori and disappeared into the crowd before she had a chance to turn around.
And now for some straight talk from author,
Domineering Asses Need Love, Too
Some of you may have already caught on either by scanning my coming soon page, seeing the cover posted over in Facebooktown, or if you’re one of the few and the proud up at HQ my husband already warned you. I’ve crossed “that” line. Yes, I speak of Identity Crisis which debuted March 8 through Rebel Ink Press. While it is a true love story, still laced with realmantica, it’s also filled with what some consider taboo subjects. BDSM, ménage, and voyeuristic situations. The bug that initiated me exploring this subject today was planted by a good friend. He asked what I was writing and wanted to read a passage and I sent him the hottest sex scene in the story. In turn he turns seven shades of red, stammers, and then proceeds to tell me, “That Ren is a domineering ass.” Ignorance of the lifestyle and how it works was doing the talking. Yes, there are those that crawl around the fringes for all the wrong reasons. There are domineering asses, but for the most part, the men and women that live this life have complete understanding of how and why it works.
Yes, friends, my teeny muse named Bronwyn who showed up at my door armed to the teeth with all her tricks of the trade won and I wrote down one of her stories. Bronwyn’s first tale actually started through a series of events that unfolded last summer as I did my research for a series I’ve got simmering away on a back burner. One of the ladies in those novels lives the lifestyle, but unfortunately for her, she lives it for all the wrong reasons. It was through that research that I discovered my curiosity was more than I could contain any longer. I guess it’s the psychology and/or sociology major in me—I have to know how people tick, what drives them in certain directions, what draws them to certain ways of living, and what it is exactly they get out of living there that way.
Let’s face it, we all know that out there mostly living in the outskirts of the sexual revolution is a sub-culture known as the BDSM crowd. But how many of us know it, are fascinated by it, yet suppress the urge to even ask a question of it? I’d never really read much in the way of BDSM until I sat up and paid attention during Broken Together by BethAnn Buehler. Until then I was curious, but had never acted on it. Then a trip down “that” aisle in Adam and Eve during my research for Echo book 2 really got my gears spinning. I knew there had to be more to this and there had to be a real live flesh and bone body somewhere that would talk to me about it. Now at this point sweetie’s eyes are like saucers and he has that look on his face that tells me he will give me the world on a silver platter, but did I have to pick that world? The “oh God honey you can’t be serious look.” Well, I won out in the end and we spent the better part of a day riding around town trying to get someone to talk to me in places where I “assumed” these type of folk would hang out—what is it they say about assuming—it makes an ass of you and me? It also doesn’t get you what you want very often. My ignorance of this world sent me down the wrong road immediately—it seems it’s so taboo to speak of it, if you’re deemed obviously vanilla it’s hard to get someone to address you. And I don’t mean that in a bad way—I understand it is meant to protect the vanillas from wandering away with someone that might do them harm as a result of the vanillas ignorance. However, I am determined and I was going to get to the bottom of this. You see my curiosity was no longer centered around what was entailed in this life—you know the what’s done—I was immensely interested in the why. I had to understand this complicated relationship between a Dom and a sub. I was already starting to realize it had nothing to do with being mean, the sheer pleasure of inflicting pain, or a death wish. I knew it was something much more complicated.
I think for a good portion of the romance reading world there is a certain degree of “squeamish” factor when perusing the aisles at either brick and mortar stores or the online e-book purveyors. More often than not, this squeamish-ness comes from pure and utter ignorance. Ignorance to those around us that are considered different and who’s lifestyle may be considered to mainstream society to be taboo. Ignorance. Something I can’t tolerate from anyone and above all myself. Thus my quest. To abolish my own ignorance and with hope in the process help to abolish someone else’s. I did finally find someone that would talk to me. Sweetie and I went out with some friends and after a bit of bolstering up with the libation of my choice, I approached a guy that looked like he might be open-minded and willing to talk to me and might very well know of at least where I could go to ask some of my questions. I wasn’t trying to stereotype anyone. I don’t believe there is a “look” that screams “hey, look at me—I like to tie my partners up—you game?” He just simply seemed like an open type of guy, not shy, and quite frankly he had a look of authoritative knowledge about him. So, I figured, what would it hurt to ask? I did. The clouds parted and a ray of sunshine fell down between us, a beacon to the information I sought. He sent me to an online society for people either practicing the lifestyle, or interested in the lifestyle. Now, I know now that opinions vary on the use of “lifestyle.” For some it is degrading. They feel that it makes their way of life sound less than normal and does indeed stereotype. I apologize to that portion of the population. My intent is to in no way, shape or form degrade you choices. It’s from simple lack of knowing how to express this any other way that I use the term. For others, how their way of living and loving is labeled is irrelevant. As in all sub-cultures, there are many sides to one coin.
So, here I am now armed with a few tools and a few contacts and ready to tackle this issue I am ignorant of and find some answers. And answers are exactly what I got. I even discovered some things about myself I was unaware of, or at least was in denial of until now. After talking to a few people and freeing my mind of pre-conceived notions, the nature of BDSM relationships began to take root and understanding grew where the tree of ignorance once stood. You see, I am even now thoroughly convinced that these relationships may in some cases be more stable and loving that normal vanilla relationships. Note I said in some cases. I’m not saying everyone should run out and try this—it’s not for everyone, in fact it’s something you either are or aren’t. Why would I say they are in some cases more stable? Because of the degree of trust that must be exhibited and practiced between the two or more people involved.
In a normal vanilla relationship, yes, love is a dominating factor along with trust. Any time you give yourself completely to someone trust is paramount, but even more so I feel in the lifestyle. You’re not only entrusting your body to someone—in the case of the submissive partner you are giving complete control to another person and having faith that they will understand and respect your boundaries, possible even realize them before you do, and that they will in return for that trust take care of your every need, quite possibly without you the submissive even having to express what those needs are. Now you’re getting a glimpse as to just how complicated and complex these relationships can be. How strong love must be between these people to harbor that complete faith in another. It is a complete surrender of not only the body, but of the mind, soul and heart. What makes it even more complex is when multiple partners are involved and the hierarchy must be established. In the case of Identity Crisis, the story entails a m/f/m relationship between two Doms and their sub. The hierarchy established dictates that there be an alpha Dom and a beta Dom. As my characters soon discover, finding and accepting ones identity can often be a scary problem and requires giving up some degree of control even when you are the one that’s supposed to be in control. And sometimes that takes more strength than actually being the alpha.
The whys? Why does anyone do anything? Because it’s what makes them feel good, it’s where their pleasure is derived. And for some pain is the center of that pleasure and when given in a loving manner with boundaries it is just as sensuous as any vanilla act.
So, what was it I learned about myself? That I do indeed have a submissive personality and although I do not practice this lifestyle I like for my alpha mate to be in charge of things. I like to be tended to and made to feel safe and cherished. We all have tendencies toward either a dominate or submissive personality, they just manifest themselves differently according to each person’s limits. I’m still researching by the way. I’ve found that Maya Banks knows an awful lot about ménage relationships and how to write them and Cherise Sinclair can write BDSM like no one’s business and she gets the complexities of the relationships. Hers are not stories born of just the sex, the emotional aspects are explored quite thoroughly.I hope this dispels some of the misconceptions about the BDSM lifestyle. I’m no renowned expert by any means, but I’m working on it. No, Ren is not heartless, and yes, domineering asses need love, too.
Lila Munro loves to hear from her readers and can be contacted via her website
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