Monday, June 13, 2011

This weeks spotlight author is making my job easy! Delaney Diamond is not only a wonderful author, she's the type of writer who incorporates what's on her mind into her stories, making a great case for the old saying... write what you know ... not that Ms. Diamond knows anything about unfaithful mates personally, but you know what I mean. 
Sit back and enjoy... Delaney Diamond is all yours....

6 Things to Do If You Think He’s Cheating

Lately I’ve been obsessed with the idea of cheating, and it’s crept into my writing.

My Latest Works

My May 20th release, Fight for Love, is about a former professional wrestler who gets caught up in a scandal involving groupies and drugs. He’s innocent of course, but at the time the tabloids print the story, his wife doesn’t know it and they end up divorced. Then there’s my current work in progress, tentatively titled The Temptation of a Good Man. It also has a thread of cheating running through it. The hero—whose family was torn apart by cheating—is stunned to see the woman he spent a passionate night with arrive at his sister’s wedding on the arm of his brother.

Current Events

Perhaps I’m having these thoughts because of the careless cheats showing up all over the news. Brett Favre and Anthony Weiner (although he never actually had sex with any of these women—allegedly) used social media. They were bold enough to send intimate pictures of themselves to women. As if it wouldn’t get out. Then there’s John Edwards, who was recently indicted for breaking the law while trying to cover up his affair. And the big daddy of cheaters—Arnold Schwarzenegger, who fathered a child with someone on his staff and kept it a secret for over a decade.

My Advice

If you think your man is cheating, my advice is—whatever you do—don’t ask him if he’s cheating. That will only tip him off, and he’ll deny it and start being more careful so he doesn’t get caught.
I’m tired of seeing women get the raw end of the deal, so I’m here to offer my unsolicited advice. Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist or advice columnist. I’m simply a romance author who is very sick and tired of hearing about all these cheats. 

What to Do If You Think He’s Cheating

·        Check the History on the computer. If you find links to online dating sites and you haven’t been there, he’s up to no good.
·        Check his wallet when he’s in the bathroom. Men are notorious for putting women’s phone numbers in their wallets.
·        Surprise him at work. Cheaters hate surprises.
·        Follow him and make sure you have a video or digital camera. There’s nothing worse than seeing the proof and not being able to prove it. You know he’ll deny he was ever in that part of town at that motel. But he can’t deny it if you have video or a photo!
·        Empty the bank account. Don’t let him spend another dime on his mistress!
·        If you’re married, start looking for a good lawyer while you’re still rational. Once your worst fears are confirmed, you won’t be able to think clearly in your emotional state.

Bonus

Enjoy a few of my favorite songs on cheating and revenge:
Bust Your Windows  by Jazmine Sullivan
Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!)  by Blu Cantrell
Before He Cheats  by Carrie Underwood

Feel free to add to the list of songs and suggestions in the comments below. I’ll be taking notes, just in case…
Below are a blurb and excerpt from FIGHT FOR LOVE, the second book in my Hot Latin Men series. 
Science teacher Rebekah Jamison lives a quiet life in the suburbs of Atlanta. Devastated by a tabloid scandal nine years ago, she ended her marriage to the man her parents never approved of. Rafael Lopez, former professional wrestler and “Sexiest Athlete Alive,” regrets the lapse in judgment that caused him to lose his wife. He shows up unannounced one day with some startling news, but he gets a surprise of his own. He finds out he’s a father. To get to know his son, he whisks him and Rebekah off to his home in the Hollywood Hills for the summer.

Warning: Get ready for a sensual battle of wills as a conservative teacher lowers her inhibitions and is reminded of why she fell in love with a sexy bad boy wrestler in the first place. 

EXCERPT

His cold, angry eyes stared into hers. “How could you do that?” he demanded in a rough voice. “How could you keep him a secret from me?”
Now came the hard part—the inadequate explanation she couldn’t even justify to herself. “I did try to contact you, but you were always traveling. It was impossible to get in touch with you.”
 “You didn’t try hard enough.” He found her guilty and delivered a cutting indictment. His eyes were filled with accusation. He swiveled on his heel and stalked over to the door. He stared out the window at the backyard, his shoulders rigid and his neck muscles taut. “Dios, Rebekah, how could you not tell me?”
The beseeching sound of his voice tore at her conscience. There was nothing she could say to make what she had done acceptable. She had tried to contact him, but he was right. She hadn’t tried hard enough. They were separated and on their way to divorce when she’d found out about her pregnancy.
She had been back in Atlanta at her parents’ house, and he had already moved to California with Marty Luger. Marty had managed Rafael’s career from the time he discovered him at a local fight club in Las Vegas. They had moved there after she graduated from high school, and they got married in a small chapel off the strip.
At first, it seemed the best decision was to remain quiet. His life on the road had concerned her, and his career was taking off. With her youthful dreams crushed under reality’s ruthless boot, she had felt like an extra appendage. She was certain the last thing he wanted was to be saddled with a child, and she certainly hadn’t wanted him to think she was using their son to make claims on his impending fortune.
 “I was protecting him.”
“From his own father?” Rafael grated.
“Yes! I didn’t want him exposed to your lifestyle—the drugs, the women, the drinking, and the brutality of that thing you call a sport.”
“It doesn’t excuse what you did.” His eyes lowered to her belly. “You robbed me of the chance of watching your body swell with my child and robbed me of the first years of his life.”
His bitter words were like lashes across her conscience.

Website and blog: http://delaneydiamond.com 
Available at Amira Press, All Romance Ebooks, for Nook, and Kindle.
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Delaney Diamond writes sweet and sensual romance novels with multicultural characters. Read one of her novels to escape reality and fall under the spell of alpha male heroes who fall in love, stay in love, and would never, ever cheat on the heroines. 


10 comments:

  1. Just yesterday, I was tweeting about Arnold and Weiner, saying that I wonder what Arnold thought of Weiner's incident; probably hatin' like a mofo. I also stumbled across an article, which I didn't read, why women in political circles didn't cheat or at least, didn't do it so that it becomes a media frenzy.

    Now, those cheating tips, you know, are really time-consuming. I don't see that I'd invest the energy into following a man with a camera. Good tips, however :-)

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  2. Honestly, Totsy, I wouldn't follow him either. LOL. In the case of the celebrity cheats, if it were me, I'd probably hire an investigator. Gotta cover your bases, because they can get really good lawyers.

    That's funny that you tweeted about Weiner. I heard his Twitter followers has increased, but he's been quiet for awhile. That's probably a good idea, esp. now there may be a 17-year-old involved. *smh* I don't know what these men are thinking about.

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  3. I didn't cheat. The X thought when I was on the computer a lot, that I did cyber-dating! She saw my blogspot and myspace page, but there was no spots of dating. I was seeking advice on being an author! MO-ron!

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  4. Oh, no, K.T.! Please tell me you're kidding. All these cheaters out here, and someone who actually isn't cheating loses their relationship?! So sorry to hear that.

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  5. That relationship was dead before that! She wanted to find a way out!

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  6. Cheating is a touchy and painful subject, obviously. It strikes at our pride and often at our pocketbook. That being side, every story has two sides, generally the media gives one. Not to stand up for cheaters in anyway, but I learned that as far as Arnold was concerned, this stemmed from the fact that Maria refused to have sex with him any more, a long time ago. She sowed those seeds, she shouldn't be surprised at what she reaped.

    I'm not saying women are to blame for their men's behavior, but that sometimes there are reasons that we can't see. It's hard to judge someone properly until you have all the facts in the case.

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  7. Hi Julie,

    Thanks for your input. If that turns out to be true (you have to agree, it's highly unusual that a woman would just tell her husband no more sex ever and they stay married), that she refused to have sex with him anymore, I can understand his frustration. But what prompted her to say no more sex? Was something else going on? Did they have an "understanding" of don't ask don't tell, but he went too far when he impregnated another woman?

    Just more food for thought. In my opinion if you're no longer happy with the person you married, for whatever reason, and counseling or other means don't work, then why not get a divorce? People do it all the time.

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  8. All of that being said, Delaney and Julie, this particular topic brings up another. Is it harder for public figures whether it be political or entertainment, to just pack up and walk away?
    If my late husband were to have cheated on me and I left him, I would have had to deal with local ramifications such as family, kids, friends etc., but someone in the public eye has to air their dirty laundry for all to see.
    I must agree though, that all jokes aside about women not giving up "the goods" after marriage is a humorous way to poke fun, but how many women out there just "stop" having sex with their husbands for no reason?
    I don't see that happening unless there is a reason behind it.
    Even if they had an "arrangement" how long could a woman be turned on by a man she knows has boned anything that comes his way and even had a child with some other woman right under her nose?
    No, there are deeper issues there and unfortunately the ones suffering the most when partners cheat, are the kids who had nothing to do with any of it.
    So sad and selfish that people don't consider the consequences when their physical urges get the better of them.

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  9. Well, some women don't particularly like sex. Maybe she fell out of love with him. Maybe she just didn't find him sexy any more. I agree that it's harder for celebs to simply walk away, cause everyone questions and discusses their private lives.

    Frankly, it's no one's business, and no one should judge without knowing all the facts.

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  10. I think sometimes being in the public eye causes divorce. There are relationships that make it through infidelity, but I think when you're in the public eye and all your business is out there for everyone to see, it's hard to stay.

    I remember everyone encouraging Sandra Bullock to leave Jesse James when he cheated. What if she wanted to stay with him and work it out? It would have been hard when the court of public opinion has already decreed that her marriage is dead and she should move on.

    I don't envy them. Infidelity is hard enough to deal with, and then you have people getting into every personal detail of your life. That just makes it worse.

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