Monday, January 16, 2012


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    It wasn't just a good movie from a few years back staring America Ferrera, it's the simple truth!! 
    Full Figured, Voluptuous, Big & Beautiful, Big Boned, Thick or Plus Sized... call them what you will... ahem, correction, call US what you will, we are all that and more. We are nowhere near a size six nor do we want to be, we are happy, passionate, intelligent, bodacious, and we are here to stay!!
    WE are REAL women, with REAL issues and a whole lot to say!!!
    While watching the Golden Globes, I was struck by a shocking sight. An extremely famous actress, arguably one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, presented an award and I was instantly stunned by her gaunt appearance. 
    Considering I was watching the award show with my 16-year-old daughter, I was a little worried. 
    At first, I was concerned for the actress and hoped she was well and just preparing for a movie role that required the, in my opinion, "dangerously thin" appearance. 
    Then I worried about what my daughter thought seeing a famous role-model appearing as she did. 
    It ended up being a terrific opening for conversation. 
   She (my daughter) and her friends deal with the same things most high school kids do, and weight is most definitely a big issue for far too many girls her age.
    My daughter comes from a long line of full-figured women and though I want her happy, I want her healthy, too. 
    I do my part by encouraging exercise and proper diet, but most of all, I do what I can to keep her attitude and view of herself emotionally healthy and positive.
    As an author, I have an obligation to give readers what they want, but as a woman... a plus-sized woman, I have an obligation to create heroines who are real and represent women in a positive light. I think I have done that, with the one exception of creating a heroine more like myself.
    There really aren't enough romance novels out there with full figured heroines, but that IS changing!!  
     I plan to do my part by writing more responsibly and I even have plans to create a BBW (big, beautiful woman) or two in future books and NOT just as a sidekick to the main heroine!!. 
    I mean, let's get real for a minute. Most women have curves, especially American women. 
    We hear about it on the news every day. 
    Did you know that there are countries that hold plus-sized women in higher regard and actually chastise the skinny-minis? If you don't believe me, rent the comedy, "Phat Girls", starring Mo'Nique. 
    *Spoiler alert* Mo'Nique's character, an up and coming clothes designer, didn't lose out to the tall, thin super-model of the movie. She got her man and she did it by being herself and allowing someone to see her for who she really was. Yeah, it was a movie, but the message was loud and clear.
    Isn't that how we should all be anyway? Be ourselves? 
    You betchya'!!
    Look, I will never be a size six and I will never be the prettiest one n the room, but that doesn't mean, I'm not beautiful and can't be sexy. 
   I am a sensual being, and as a woman, I hold the greatest power of all in the palm of my hands. *wink wink!
   I am confident, strong and a survivor!! Three very important qualities for any woman. 
    I've been gawked at, laughed at and ridiculed for my size, but hey...I'm here and I AM a WOMAN!! A Big, Beautiful Woman! 
    I'm not ashamed of the "label" and I'm not going to apologize for being plus-sized anymore than a super model should apologize for being the way she is.
   I hope that my daughters see that they are beautiful inside and out, no matter the package they're in. 
   All little girls should be comfortable in their own skin and it's up to me to make sure that whatever negative images threaten their self-esteem are countered with positive images to reassure them that they are perfect just the way they are!!
   If you know of a book or a movie that depicts REAL women in positive ways, please feel free to share the titles and/or links in the comment section below. 
   If this post has struck a nerve, by all means, share what's on your mind! 
    Your opinions are important to me, as my readers, peers and fellow humans... male or female... 
    Sealed with a Kiss is an equal opportunity sounding let's talk about it!!!


  1. Thank you!! I to am.a bbw and am tired of the way that society looks at me. One problem they don't realize is that I have a lung disease and due meds the weight stays on. Anyways, thank you!

  2. Although I'm not big myself, I'm still not stick thin like all the girls you see now. It's a horrible look. I used to be a size eight, yes. But even then I was never thin. I had a REAL bum :P I could never put any weight on, no matter how much I ate. When I met my partner, I put on weight and am now a size ten and he loves it! Although looking at him, you get jealous because he IS stick thin xD But even though I see myself different to how he sees me, I still like myself even though I'm gradually putting the weight on slowly. There is NOTHING wrong with being big, as long as you're healthy. And having someone who loves every inch of your body the way it is, it makes you feel incedible about yourself.
    You know what they say... Happiness makes you put on weight. And I think it's true :P

  3. Go curvy women! We rock! If truth be known most men would rather feast their eyes on delicious curves rather than angular bony stick insects. I know I will never be a size 10 again(British sizes) and nor do I want to be. My curves make me who I am and I'm happy. Great article honey.

  4. Excellent post, Robin. I've dealt with this my whole life, as I have hormonal issues that there don't seem to be treatments for. My doctor and I work hard to keep me healthy, and so far, we're succeeding--bp, heart rate, cholesterol, and everything are good. I exercise. I eat healthy foods. But to so many, I'm just a lazy pig. It's very frustrating. I'm lucky to have a husband who loves every inch of me. :-)

  5. Great post; great photos! Dove has a program in the elementary schools here in Northern Va designed to help young girls focus on more than physical appearance. "Girls on the Run" ...see if it's available for your daughters. I've been a size 14 and my husband wouldn't change an inch!

  6. Thank you all for commenting! I am so glad to see that I am not alone in my thinking.

    @Elaine, I almost posted a pic of the "Dove" ladies, but I was afraid of copyright infringement. The campaign is here in Texas, too, though I haven't seen an add recently. I should look for it.

    As for the rest of you, no matter your size, I am thrilled to see positive attitudes and so many beautiful women sharing their thoughts and opinions about such a personal and controversial topic.
    Thanks so much to everyone!!

  7. Yeah, girl, this did hit a chord. Even at my anorexic skinniest, I was a size 12. It comes from having a classic Marilyn figure as the DH keeps reminding me. He's very good for my ego. *grin*

  8. Wonderful post, Robin! As a BBW myself it is a bit overwhelming at all the clothes being made for the smaller women, but that is changing too. I remember the days when Lane Bryant used to have the ugliest clothes. I would be so upset at that. It was as if they thought BBW's didn't have any taste. Now they have beautiful colors and clothing for all shapes and sizes. It's about time!

    I have plans for a bbw heroine in one of the books in my current series. As I have been writing different scenes for her, I keep smiling. I've put a lot of my own life into her too. I even wrote a party scene where she was dressed as as Mae West, another curvy actress that was proud of her figure.

    I have also been slammed by other bbw's because I am working on losing weight. One woman actually told me that I should be happy with what God gave me and not try to change it. LOL! Well, I don't think God gave me the gazillion french fries that I put down over the years...that would be McD's! LOL I love being curvy, but I want to be healthy as well.


  9. Fantastic blog Robin! I am a curvy girl and proud of it! Granted at 5' 10" I'll likely never be stick thin but I will confess, there was a time many, many years ago that I gave in to the pressure and nearly starved myself to a matchstick. I didn't see it, even when I looked in the mirror, but it was my father telling me I looked unhealthy, almost skeletal that made me take pause. After years of struggling, I finally opted for a different path and made the conscious decision to let my body decide what felt healthy. No longer would I focus on a clothing size ... does it REALLY matter if the tag says 8 or 10 or 16? What matters is if I am comfortable in my own skin. Am I healthy? Do I feel good?

    Granted, I am curvy and I love it (as does my husband!) But for all the curvy girls, there are women who are truly rail thin. I watched my daughter struggle with being called anorexic and other names because she was 5' 9" and 100 pounds and wore a size 0/1. Her metabolism is unbelieveable and with her AD/HD she was always moving. Trust me, she eats...and eats well. She just burns calroies at a higher rate and has a slim body type.

    I long for a day when ALL body types are embraced, and no particular one is pushed by the media or the masses as the IDEAL.

    Thank you Robin!

  10. Well... some real women don't have curves, Robin. Some of us are built like a tube of toothpaste. We're not slim, slender, willowy etc OR curvy, buxom or generous. We are just - well, think invisible. I have been much the same shape since I was 21 (and at 54 I am just a shade under my wedding weight). It would be nice to have curves, but the only one I have ever achieved was when I put on six kilos in the middle. I didn't like it (think tube of toothpaste that swallowed a plum) so I took it off again.

    I think most women have a "natural" shape to which they will always tend. Healthy diet and exercise will change the weight, but it won't change that basic shape.

  11. Loved this post :o)
    Shining a light on real women in positive ways, is a great thing :D

  12. All women are beautiful, no matter our size, shape, shade or age. Women celebrating other women and supporting each other is just another reason why I am so proud to be a woman in this era!!
    Thank you all for your comments and input!! You;re all awesome!

  13. Great post Robin! I'm a fellow BBW and have slowly come to embrace my curves, especially given my thyroid issues that don't seem to be improving with meds. In my research, I was surprised to find so few books featuring plus size heroines, and have started writing books with just that. I already have a short story available and am working on a novella now, but plan to do a full-length series as well.

    Every woman, regardless of their weight should be able to find comfort in knowing that she is not alone in her struggles to continually lose, but also that she is loved just the way she is, regardless of her marital status. So a big thank you for reminding me of that, and for embracing this topic.

    P.S. We're not fat, we just have excess sexiness ;)

  14. This is great! We can change the world one big beautiful writer at time! Someday I hope my book will make it as a link to a blog sorta like this, since I insist on writing about BBWs in all my Romance novels.
    Thanks for a fantastic post.

  15. This is a great post, but why do we feel the need to label ourselves at all, be that skinny or big and beautiful? My heroines tend to be curvy, make of that what you will. Not skinny, not big, just the way they are.

    I have five daughters, so this is a topic close to my heart. All my girls are skinny, two of them bordering on Anorexic skinny, and it bothers them, and yes they too have to deal with comments on a daily basis. One of them is also very busty and folks do not believe that she didn't have a boob job. Get real, people!

    Their body shape is not due to lack of eating I can assure, they just have a very fast metabolism. I keep reassuring them that they are beautiful no matter what size they are.

    I wish as a society we would just look past the issues of weight and accept people for who they are.

    Beautiful pics on this post, mind you :-)

  16. The acceptance needs to go both ways. There are many women of larger size who slam those who are not. One woman bought my book knowing I am a BBW, she figured my heroine would be too. She was ticked off that my character lost 100 pounds and now felt great about herself. She said it wasn't real life. Ha! Really? So much for accepting people no matter their size. I used to be much larger than I am now...170 pounds larger in fact. I lost the weight because I was unhappy, unhealthy and basically miserable. Will I ever be super thin? Nope. Am I more comfortable with my body now? Hell yes! Those are the characters I will write about in all of my books...all sizes and shapes.

  17. I agree, there is something about the female figure that is gorgeous in all their revelations. Curvy women, what I call comfortable women are some of the more enticing, but there is always a beauty waiting to be explored in any person. And, if I may, I have an anthology coming from eXtasy Books in March, Hot Comfortable Women that explores the variety of ladies in all shapes and sizes. (sorry to sell on your dime.)

    Allistar Parker