Friday, January 6, 2012

When is sexy, just too damn sexy?

Is that even possible? Probably not when we're talking about strong, alpha male heroes. I mean come on. We all know sexy men come in many different packages, but do romance readers prefer those packages hard, hot and always ready to satisfy? To be completely honest...uhh, yeah! 

Spartacus, portrayed by
Andy Whitfield b. 1975 - d.2011
Would you have preferred Spartacus to diplomatically enter the arena and discuss the issues he had with his Roman oppressors, or was "kicking butt" and eventually starting a revolution, more likely what made you sit up and take notice? 
Personally, for me,  it was the loincloth! 
As a species, no matter how evolved we've become, hetero-sexual females still keep our eyes out for the prefect mate. That guy with the three P's!!! The ability to proficiently protect, provide and procreate.
Yes, even in the 21st century, there's an instinctual part of us that still adheres to the rules of natural selection. It may be different for each of us, but it's there nonetheless. 
He can rip off his competitor's head in the arena one moment, then tear your heart out with one tender touch, the next. Why is it so easy for him? Because he's just too damn sexy!! 

Then we must take into consideration that other part of a woman's brain that has the uncontrollable need to fix and care for that sexy beast we're dead set on giving our hearts to. 
The brooding-alpha grunts in lieu of actual conversation and yet we'll bend over backwards to translate his actions into emotions. 
By the way, big mistake, ladies. 
As a writer of male characters, trust me, what they say and what they think aren't necessarily the same thing. How do I know? Because I'm a woman and HUMAN and so is that sex-god leaning across that table there. His eyes could be telling me that he's had a bad day and would rather be left alone just as easily as he could be begging me to come kiss away his pain then slip into a steamy hot-tub and... oh, my, see what just happened? I became caught up in the intoxicating spell of a good lookin' man and would have probably sold my soul to the devil if he'd asked me to. And why?? He's just too damn good lookin'!! That and he's probably dripping with charm that supersedes his sex appeal. 

There's no need to leave nasty comments saying I've made women sound  like pushovers. I'm not saying that at all. 
What I am saying is that when we see a character in a movie or read a "to die for" description of a hero in a romance novel, we tend to overlook flaws or at the very least, hope and pray he redeems himself for whatever mistakes he's made. 
Does it all have to do with the way he looks? Possibly, but if he's written well enough, we soon look beyond the baby blues and six pack. At least I do anyway.
Perfection is all part of the illusion. 

Would Prince Charming be nearly as inviting if he had a beer-gut and bad breath? Probably not. 
Though sincere when we say that we'd overlook just about any human flaw for true love, there comes a point where we have to draw the line when it comes to our fictitious heroes. I can find a man with a beer-gut and bad breath at the corner gas station. Give me a man with broad shoulders, a strong, flexing jawbone, and abs made of steel and I'll be one happy reader. 
Does that make me superficial? No, it makes me one of those women who want a fantasy when I read because let's face it, for most of us, we aren't exactly hooking up with Brad Pitt every night. Kudos to Angelina for having that privilege.

Am I saying there's something wrong with the man who currently fills our life with happiness? Heavens no. 
After all, he's the guy who sees us Saturday morning after having one too many Mojitos the night before, and he hasn't run for the hills, has he? 
Those guys are the REAL heroes, right? There must have been something about them we found attractive. I mean, we share a mortgage AND maybe even children with him, don't we? THAT's reality, for sure. 
But what would a little fantasy be without including a little bit of the unobtainable?

Would we jump at a book that had 
Larry the Cable Guy sprawled across the cover? Some of us, maybe. But most would rather the see the beefcake, right? 

It's human nature and although beauty is in the eye of the beholder, insane beauty is still a sight to behold. 
No matter what type of man you prefer to share your life with, read about or watch on the silver screen, they're all sexy in their own way. And if you find yourself sliding in the direction of maybe being jealous of the women who have the hearts of these sexy beasts depicted here, I just have to remind you of one last little reality check...
Show me a sex-god and I'll show you a woman who's tired of putting up with his crap. 
Gotta LOVE romance!! 


  1. :) Amen Robin and I couldn't have said it better! And I didn't look at the man candy. I read your poetic words. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :P

  2. LOL. I still have a heartbeat after many years of marriage and I hope I keep his heart beating too as he still beside me....*S*
    I want that big muscled man of mine just he is, have that special something that makes me feel protected, desired and wanted as I hope other women still do. Why not?

  3. LOL - entertaining read, Robin. My hubby may not have the rock hard abs as these guys, but he's the one that helps my dreams come true. Horses on my property & being a full-time writer. Bless the man & may I find ways to fulfill his dreams, too! =)

  4. LOL, Robin! What a fantastic post! It is so true that you think a man is thinking one thing, but he's really thinking another. Women aren't pushovers, but we really need to stop reading into things. And I know you said not to, but I still ogled the man candy :P

  5. A great post honey. But they were too tempting too avert my eyes from

  6. Now how did I know that all of you were too naughty to close your eyes? Because birds of a feather....well you know the rest!!
    Thanks for dropping in and leaving comments. Both are much appreciated!

  7. Hey Robin - Words of wisdowm are always welcome. After celebrating my 40th wedding anniversary on New Years Eve - yes with the same man, I think I can say with some candor that after the first 'flush' of 'lust' has come and gone - followed by the years of true passion and experimentation (not outside marriage, though some may), that in the end love is what glues you together. Long ago, however, we both knew without actually saying it "To look was okay and if you don't look, you're probably dead" LOL. We've both looked and at times jabbed each other in the ribs to bring that eye candy to the other's attention.
    Yes over the years we've both looked and still do, but I feel, I can say with confidence, neither have strayed. So - what is the magic "love" that attracts a couple enough to stay together over the distance past those years of a slender waist and hard abs? Possibly the ability NOT to become jealous IF the other just looks, after all - we all need a little sweet (eye candy) just not an over-dose. Foot note - what a shame to lose Andy Whitfeild - The standard for the modern Spartus.
    Good blog post Robin

  8. Wait! You mean you had words with your pictures? I guess I missed those the first time . . .

    Sorry, what were you saying, Robin?

  9. Great post, Robin.

    Before hubby and I met, I had a relationship with a Mr. Too Sexy for several months. What an A$$! He knew he was sexy and charming, and could have pretty much any woman he wanted, and he never let me forget that.

    During one of our off-again periods, I met hubby - a professional soldier, and certainly no slouch for looks. Six weeks later we were married, and we'll soon celebrate our 26th anniversary. Though we've both had plenty of opportunity, neither of us has been tempted to stray. We've seen each other at our absolute worst, and shared some very good times, and a few horrible times. Today, we're more in love than ever.

    Your point with the 3 Ps makes sense. But Mr. Too Sexy is usually too busy Procreating with every Anne, Sue, and Mary to do much Protecting or Providing!


  10. I loved your post and ... umm... I... oh, my. *Wipes drool away*
    Sorry, I got sidetracked on all the hot pictures and just wanted to say...umm...
    Wait, what?

    Oh, right. Loved what you wrote and I think a lot of us Romance writers have thought about this (especially when day dreaming about Spartacus or Prince Charming or...)
    Thanks for putting it into words - and pictures!

  11. Very entertaining blog, Robin. And those pictures...whoosh! Now I need to turn on the a/c!

  12. I will give you my opinions after I save all of these pictures to my computer. I might get sidetracked, though...

  13. Great pictures - and the words (yes, I finally focused on the words *semi-cheesy grin*) that came with them (truer ones :))

  14. I loved this and not just for the drool worthy pictures ;-)

    Completely agree that the men in our lives are the real heroes, warts and all. Hubby and I have been married for 23 years this year and we too have a "You can look, but don't touch rule." lol

    We quite often point eye candy out to each other and tease each other mercilessly about it. It's all good fun. If any of that eye candy actually talked to us, we'd run the other way though!