As I read back the title of this post, I must admit, I had myself a little chuckle, especially since the mind I'm referring to is my own. Depending on how you read it, one may question if I am an author of erotic romance, or an erotic author. That last part is where the chuckle came in.
I have been accused of being many things in my life, but erotic hasn't been one of them. Naughty maybe or perhaps even a little "throwed off", as we say here in Texas, but never erotic.
Anyway, before I find myself way off track here, (as if that would ever happen) allow me to get back to my point. As an author of erotic romance, I often wonder what the people who don't know me, think about me and the kind of person I am. The woman behind the books, if you will.
While I can't speak for every reader, I can share with you the conflicting reactions I've received.
Some perceive me in a negative light, as though I am some deviant who peddles sex (this is where I often keel over from laughter) and exploits intimacy and sexual exploration.
This couldn't be farther from the truth. Well, except for the intimacy and sexual exploration part... though I'd say encouraging it is far from exploiting it.
First of all, sex is a common occurrence between two people (Consenting ADULTS) who are attracted to one another. It's a natural event and when I describe the act in my stories, I do so with with the utmost respect, especially for the female characters, while at the same time, empowering them and strengthening their MONOGAMOUS bond. I can't stress this enough.
Have I pushed the boundaries of my personal comfort zone with the details? Yes. Otherwise I wouldn't grow as a writer.
Have I crossed those lines? Absolutely not, and probably won't ever do so.
On the other hand, some people are surprised by my somewhat conservative views in my personal life considering the liberties I take with my books.
Now before you get all worried by my use of the word "conservative", please allow me to elaborate.
I am a mother, and that aspect of my life comes first and foremost before anything else. Since I am a widow and not currently dating, putting my children at the top of my list is quite easy. (not that being married or in a relationship would change that... my kids will always come first)
Just because I allow the characters in my books to be sexually uninhibited doesn't mean I am giving the nod for my children to behave promiscuously and go hog-wild. Quite the opposite actually.
While I don't "preach" abstinence, I am not giving the green light for teen sex or even premarital sex for that matter. Would I prefer my children to be in a healthy, mutually exclusive, monogamous relationship before giving up that ONE part of their lives only they can control? Absolutely.
Am I an idiot to think they will wait until marriage before doing the deed? Absolutely not.
After all, I didn't wait for marriage and neither did my parents. If I were to ask, I'd lay odds that my grandparents didn't either. So what kind of a hypocrite would I be to insist my kids uphold such a nearly impossible task if the generations before them didn't either?
I do have expectations though and they are quite aware of what they are. Being an ADULT is just the first of many and always being SAFE comes in second on that list.
If you've ever read my books, then you know that my characters don't cheat, abuse or humiliate each other, physically, sexually or emotionally, or any other terrible things humans have been known to do to their partners. I expect this in my own relationships and the future relationships my kids will have. It's non-negotiable!!
Now have my characters explored their sensuality, fantasized and maybe even experimented within the confines of their sexual relationship? Yep, they sure have. It's a natural progression between consenting adults and perfectly acceptable behavior.
Have my characters done things I've personally done? Hey, what kind of a girl do you think I am? I would never kiss and tell...or would I? *Heheh...
I've had many labels in my life...daughter, wife, sister, mother, friend, lover, and even a few we won't mention, but one label I have never had is Prude.
I'm quite frank about my view of romance and just how far I will go in my stories. And although I am labeled as an "erotic" author, most of my books would be best described as sensual. And THAT is a label I really like, and one I'd be comfortable with in my personal life, as well. Just the word has a naughty but nice ring to it. How fun is that?
A mutually satisfying relationship is all that matters in the end.
While I can't speak for everyone out there, I can say with great confidence, that of the wonderful writers I do know, the authors behind the books on your nightstands or tucked away in your e-readers, are pretty much just like everyone else... perhaps just a little more in touch with the voices prattling in our heads, but far from depraved... well most of us anyway! *Heheh
Have a terrific week!!